Monday, April 2, 2012

I want to see a business that doesn't allow whiny adults.

Today's blog post is difficult for me to write because it's hard for me to wrap my head around. But I'm going to try, at least, to convey what it is that is bothering me.

I started this blog post a number of times. This makes my third attempt to say what I want to say without rambling. But it's hard to do when the subject is so broad, you really don't know where to begin. I want to talk about hate. But I'd have to narrow that down because, sadly, there are too many forms of hate in the world. What's on my mind, though, involves the unnecessary hatred toward parents. I wanted to talk about how pregnant women and moms are illegally discriminated against in the workplace. I wanted to talk about how disgusting it is that the nation is trying to use women as a political focal point.

But ultimately, I'll narrow it to the growing trend of kid haters.

It is no wonder that kids grow up hating. I could give several examples of why kids hate and how most of the hate is learned at home.

However, even focusing on parents isn't what I'd like to write about today. This is about non-parents. It's about those who choose not to have children.

I'm all up for people being comfortable enough to say, "I don't want kids." I actually think it is fantastic for someone to be that sure of themselves to know they don't want to reproduce. There's a kid in my psych class who I highly respect for not giving in to societal roles. He knows he doesn't want children and that's great.

What isn't okay is the mindset some of those people (notice I said some!) have that they are somehow more important than the part of society that does decide to reproduce. They are the people who are so self-important, they think their path should be cleared of children. Period. Children are disgusting. They are a nuisance. And if they aren't little automatons, then they are monster children that don't know how to behave. This type of selfish behavior is another reason why more and more kids hate.

And what isn't okay are the businesses who have decided they are going to cater to those people. 

Why wouldn't they hate when adults look at them like they are disgusting rats? Why wouldn't they hate when they are treated as though they are less than human? Why wouldn't they hate when they aren't respected in the same way we would require them to respect us?

Granted, there are parents out there who do not make their children behave. (Keep in mind, though, meltdowns happen to even the best parents, so it's not fair to judge how a parent "is" through one unfortunate incident.) And granted, not every place is acceptable for children. But there's a difference between a place being acceptable for children and simply shutting children out for the sake of getting rid of them. It seems like more and more businesses are subscribing to the "no children allowed" concept and people are cheering them on. (Does that remind you of any other signs that used to be up on businesses in the south around about 60 years ago?) Nevermind that the parents of a baby would pay the same price as the non-parent to fly first class. The non-parent's fragile sensibility is at stake so automatically they are more important.  According to these people, we should be under house arrest for deciding to have children.  We shouldn't leave home because we could risk having our child offend someone. Waaah-waaah.

I feel incredibly sorry and sad for the world at times. People have become so intolerant of anything that might disrupt their little bubble that they've even taken to disrespecting parents and their children. And that's not okay.

If we want the hate in the world to stop, then we need to look to the children, whether they are yours or, if you've chosen not to have any, someone else's. Children are people, too, and should be treated as such. They have their own brilliant ideas, their own likes and dislikes, and they have a way of looking at things that we adults have usually forgotten about by the time we hit our late teens.

Kids learn the most by how they are treated by adults. When kids are shut out, it sends them messages that probably isn't intentional but still speaks volumes. Because to kids, adults are supposed to know everything, right? So what are you teaching the kids around you? Are you shutting kids out of your business for the sake of not offending the selfish, fragile, and whiny adults that might patron your business? Do you really want to send the future leaders of our world the message that it's okay to cater to the intolerant?

Discrimination is discrimination. Whether it's based on religion, sexual orientation, race, or even how old you are.

Personally, I'd like to see a business with a sign that said, "No whiny, snobbish, self-important adults allowed."  Seriously, if you can't handle a bit of whining, you should really just stay in bed.

Peace, love, and more love,



  1. This is bullshit. Just because I would like to enjoy my evening without listening to kids throw temper tantrums, I'm whiny? Get real, woman.

  2. So along the same train of thought, just because I'm annoyed with those people who don't have the common courtesy not to talk on their phones loud while I'm trying to enjoy my meal, then no one should be allowed to take their phone in a restaurant. See how self-important and silly that sounds? There are going to be things that annoy people, no matter where you go. If you're that easily offended, stay home.

  3. And I should be mad that restaurants won't let me take my dog inside. That's discrimination against me because I have a dog.

  4. You're seriously going to compare kids to animals? Really? Thank you, Anonymous 2. You just made my point for me.

  5. I have children, albeit they are now past the age where I have to worry about how they behave in public but when they were small I was fanatical about attempting not to place them or myself in a situation that would cause a problem. To be honest I don't like to be in public places where children are throwing tantrums or running wild, and I made it a point not to have my children be "those kids" when I did take them somewhere. I think a lot of the rules and exclusion of children is a result of the lack of parenting that "some" parents do which is a sad situation; it's not the kids fault but it's also not the fault of the people who don't want to hear screaming children. There is no clear cut solution and there will continue to be controversy over it, but I don't think it has to be a parent vs. non-parent situation, like I said I am a parent and I believe there are places where children who are out of control should not be allowed.

  6. :) Hi, SA! I agree with you for the most part. There was an incident on an airplane awhile back where attendants made a family get off the plane where a 2 year-old was throwing a huge fit and wouldn't get buckled. It was a safety issue and the flight was justified in getting them off the plane. In any instance where it is a safety issue, that's fine.

    But I bet if people *really* counted how many times that these extreme incidences (and I mean seriously out of control kids vs. just a normal kid situation) occurred compared with times when there is no incident at all when children are around, they might be surprised at the numbers. We tend to remember the bad situations and block situations where there wasn't an incident at all. My children shouldn't be shut out of places they would enjoy because someone else doesn't know how to manage their children. That's like stereotyping women as being too emotional to serve in the military; so let's shut all women out. It isn't fair to everyone else that because of *some* women's behaviors that the whole gender should be excluded. (This is an actual political argument, btw, thanks to Rick Santorum.)

    I just had this discussion with a friend on my Facebook wall. If an extreme incident like that happens, there are steps that an establishment's management can take. They can be proactive instead of just being frustrated and mumbling under their breath. If kids are being overtly unruly, find a solution. Approach the parents, offer to pack the meal to go and offer a discount to get them out the door quicker. If the kids are messing merchandise up in a store, then stand up and tell the parents that if they don't watch their children, they will be asked to leave. There are ways of approaching situations that don't involve excluding all children.

  7. Definition of Discrimination - The unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people or things, esp. on the grounds of race, age, or sex. < To anyone who doubts that this is discrimination.

    Kids are not animals. They are human beings. I can see someone being gutsy enough to take something like this to court. Really, I think since people can't openly criticize based on race or homosexuality, they have to find someone to pick on. Kids are defenseless so let's pick on them! Personally, I'd like to see people have a license to reproduce.