Saturday, June 17, 2017
Time is an obvious factor in my inability to blog lately. I feel like I've been in school for 68.2 years and that it will never end. I'm in graduate school now, and I sometimes feel like I'm drowning in a sea of academia with little emotion in the material with which I am immersed. It sounds like I'm complaining, and maybe I am a little. The thing with creative types, the thing with passionate types, (the thing with INFJs), is that I want to feel useful, and I want to feel like what I'm doing has meaning. I've been making it through, but I have yet (even one year later) to find a full-time job in teaching. I absolutely LOVE what I am doing with the local college classes that I am teaching, and when I finish my graduate degree, I'll be qualified to teach a variety of college English courses, but secondary schools in my area just aren't hiring me. I've had some wonderful interviews and not so wonderful interviews. I've followed up. I've asked for feedback. I've planted my big tail in offices and waited sometimes for an hour or more for a principal to finish whatever task he or she was on. But it's not working. It's hard not to be discouraged.
Other than my lack of experience, I'm not sure what else to improve upon. I could probably go to another location in a more populated area, like Huntsville or Madison, and teach easily (they always seem to have positions posted), but I have two children in different grade school levels, and I'm the only one who can get them to and from school. So until everyone can be in the same building, it's not going to happen. But it is what it is, and I'm trying to not let it get to me. In the meantime, come fall semester, I get to teach my developmental college classes again, and my heart sings at the thought of getting back into it. I love those students so much and their success makes me immensely happy. (On a side note, this is a part-time position with part-time pay and no benefits, so before I get more comments about making big college bucks... um, no. It doesn't work that way.)
In the meantime, I keep on. With what, I'm not sure. In less than a month, secondary teachers will be heading back into the classroom, and I... well, I'll still be struggling to make ends meet. I'm going to pick up some tutoring this fall, and that's about all I can do.
Peace, love, and endurance,