Facebook covers for writers

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"The Wish" by Pamela Caves Excerpt

-from "The Wish" in No Regrets from Silly Tree Anthologies

Available on Amazon and Smashwords

And worse, as she was moving from the apartment they'd shared for so long, she found a diary he'd kept some years before. If they'd been together and she'd found it, she would have honored his privacy and put it back. As it was, she hadn't seen him in months and hadn't heard from him in any other way than through his lawyer. She wondered if it would shed any light on his behavior.

"Oh how I love her," the entries read over and over, and Hailey felt her heart slip into her stomach. He was talking about her; the whore hadn't even come into the picture yet. "My wife is the most wonderful person in the world and I don't know how I got so lucky. I am sometimes just overwhelmed by the force of love I have for her." It didn't make sense (would it ever?). Other than their mediocre arguments over having children, there had been nothing, nothing, to indicate what had happened in his mind to go from loving her so deeply one moment to betraying her the next. And even the diary held no revelations. The entries simply stopped one day after another proclamation of his love.

It was then that she made her wish. Sitting in her almost empty apartment several months after the separation while the divorce was going through, with his black bound diary sitting in her lap, she made her wish. It wasn't about getting him back; that notion had fizzled a long time ago. He was much too tainted now for her to want anything to do with him. But she made the wish, nonetheless, as a way for her own heart to begin healing.

"He'll understand someday," she muttered to no one. "I wish that one day, he'll understand what he gave up. She'll hurt him, and he'll be sorry he let me go. He'll understand that I was the best thing that ever happened to him and he'll want me back. And when he realizes he can't have me, he'll be as torn up inside as I am. He'll finally understand what he did to me and he won't be able to cope with it."

She burned the diary so she wouldn't have to lay eyes on it again. Up in smoke it went and with it, the last remnants of any feelings she had for him. The wound was still there, still oozing, but she could, at last, bandage it up and move on from that dark place.

Another year around the block

So my birthday is Friday and I usually try to do some sort of blog post about my life over the past year. If I don't do it now, I fear I may procrastinate the time away.

There have been many small changes to my life over the last year. I didn't realize just how many changes there were until I started thinking about it. In no particular order, here's what has happened since my last birthday rolled around.

-I released my second novel, Future Past.
-I released two short story collections, Life and Life Odd.
-I graduated from one college and have started another.
-I left behind my old store job.
-I am (finally!) employed in a job that utilizes my writing skills. I am an English tutor at the local college!
-I obtained my substitute certification for the county school system.

It's been a good year, I think. I've also taken on some wonderful new clients and edited some fabulous stories. I continue to learn and grow.

I'm a far cry from that woman who seemed so beaten down and who struggled so much when I first started publishing and blogging. I can see how I've changed over the years based on what I wrote then compared to now. Sometimes I wonder why I was so charged and angry. I have certainly mellowed out some and I attribute a lot of that to my experience running for public office and it is something I've been learning and practicing since. The perspective it gave me about people and their reactions, especially to people in the public eye, has been life-altering.

As a result, my motto as of late has been, "I won't judge." In a world where it seems almost everyone scrutinizes every word, every article of clothing, and every breath, it's hard not to judge instantly and jump on a bandwagon. Of course, I'm human and won't always take that step back, but it's something to strive for.

My goals for the next year are simple: live and be happy. It's a lot easier said than done, I know. Tangible goals? Other than making it through the courses at my new college with A's, I'm not sure. I intend to continue writing, I hope that my schedule allows me to take an actual creative writing course this fall, but other than that, I am just rolling with what happens.

All I can guarantee is right now. This morning, I finished 1500 words of a new short story, completed 75% of a client edit, and am in the process of washing two loads of laundry. Exciting, huh? :) In the meantime, I'm looking forward to another year. Hopefully God will see me through it.

Peace, love, and birthday cake,

Pamela