Wednesday, March 6, 2013

I'm not good enough and I want to give up writing.

It's not often I get into these doom and gloom moods but for some reason, for the last few weeks, I've become so discouraged that I want to shut down my websites and wipe my name and face from the cybersphere.

I wasn't going to write about this publicly. Who wants to open up their vulnerabilities to the world to be mocked and made fun of? But I wouldn't be much of a mentor if I didn't express the worst of writing, too. Because like it or not, if you're going to be a writer, you will feel discouraged from time to time. You'll feel like the world hates your work. You'll feel inadequate. You'll feel like giving up. You'll lack the confidence that seems to come in bounds to other writers. I can imagine that writers aren't the only ones to feel like this; I'm sure this rings true in many circumstances for many different people.

 I look at the success of others and I think, I've been writing since I was 9 years old and publishing for 3 years and it feels like I've gotten nowhere. Even though I've had a good talk with my writing group and it has helped me cope (y'all are awesome peeps!), it's hard to shake the feeling that all that work--all that heart and soul--is ultimately for nothing.

The thing is, writing, for me, is like breathing. Over the years, the discouraging nature of writing itself has been enough to make me quit writing... several times. I would try to find another path for myself but I was never happy not writing. If you've found that one thing that is your passion in life, then I know you understand. It's what completes my life. I have lots of other things I do but writing is what keeps me floating along the surface.

So for me, yes, I want to quit but I know I won't. I'll keep chugging along, learning as I go and working to improve. I'll try my best not to compare myself with others, too, as I think that is my biggest weakness.

I'm not writing this for pity or to preach or give advice. I'm simply saying that I get it. Having that writing group there for me this morning was a blessing and I hope reading that other writers have the same discouraging notions will help you cope with your own.

Peace, love, and positive thoughts,


1 comment:

  1. Hey Pamela thank you for being brave and telling of your vulnerabilities when it comes to writing. Yes you are right in saying that we (writers) all have these moments of indecision and times when we doubt our own abilities. But when yours come take heart- I am 50 and a bit and have been writing since I was able to and as yet haven't been 'officially' published. I do hope one day to get there.