Sorry, Crazy, I'm all booked, thanks.

Something dramatic has happened in my life. For the first time in a long time, I'm fully booked.

I started classes (for the first time in ten years) a couple of weeks ago. And in addition to being a writer, I'm also a freelance editor. I can't recall a time when I have had book after book lined up from clients to edit. This is starting to happen now; as soon as I almost finish with one project, I have another lined up to go. There's a possibility I might also be doing some ghostwriting soon. I've had to take on more responsibility with Fiction Lake due to an illness the editor is dealing with in his family. And to top it all off, I am once again writing as the DeKalb County Examiner.

In any case, I'm feeling blessed as of late and I hope this is a trend that continues to follow me this year. I'm certainly up for some hard work. I don't even have time to open the door for craziness! So if I don't update this blog very often or poke my head into Twitter or Facebook, this is why.

And let's not forget that in addition to all this, the first Barrier story will be out very soon and later this year, my debut novel, The Influence, will be released.

Yes, very blessed.

So don't get worried if I don't check in as often as I once did. It only means I'm working hard.

Peace, love, and thanks to the Almighty,

Pamela

Now is the time. Get ready.

Over a week or so ago, I resubmitted Future Past to Hadley Rille. I received a response several days ago. I haven't blogged about it until now because it has taken me this long to process the information. (Actually, to be honest, I have yet to fully process the information.) So here's the thing; I still haven't gotten a yes or no. I have another edit request with another set of no guarantees. This time, the editor thinks it might be a good idea to completely rewrite the tale in 3rd person.

I'm grateful for the criticism she provided and the patience she has displayed but I haven't decided if I'm going to rewrite the story to those specifications. First, I wrote it from my protagonist's point of view for the simple reason that it's more personal. Second, I wrote it in first person because I hope to write more books with the same characters and setting; a series if all pans out according to the plan.

It's at this point where a writer really begins to question themselves. Maybe you've been there, maybe not. I've come to a point in my life where I had to realize that writing is "in addition to" and not "instead of". I've always operated under the latter and I've never been happy with the direction I've been going in both professional and personal respects. It's the reason why, after 10 years, I'm braving the college classroom again. But sometimes I have to ask myself if my almost 20 years of on and off writing and submitting (probably more like 8 constant years if I compact it) and my approximately 150 rejections are worth keeping my work stalled. I feel like I've been in a tremendous rut. Sure, I've had minor successes here and there but I feel like I'm pressed up against a door that, while it's open, simply refuses to budge.

I apologize if it sounds like I'm whining. I'm really not. I'm just assessing things; trying to figure out why I keep getting so close but never actually touching. And it's not over by a long shot. I sat down the night after I got that email and thought about how my life would be if I just quit writing. And you know what? I wouldn't be able to do it. My insides would whither away if I even tried.

So I've made a decision. I'm going to release my debut novel this year. I'm already an indie publisher, I've just never released a novel before. I'd like to be brave and say that I've been ready to do this but that isn't at all true. Now is the perfect time. I haven't been ready until now. It's time I stood up and do what I've always wanted to do.

So I'll be releasing The Influence later this year which will be available in both ebook and print. Right now, I'm focusing on Barrier edits and we (my publisher and I) are preparing for its release in a couple of weeks. Afterward, I'll be compiling research for the newest novel I'm planning and then I'll be going over my editor's notes for my debut novel and preparing it for publication. Several of you have commented that you'd like to read a full length novel by me. You don't have much longer to wait so get ready! :) Thanks for sticking with me.

As for Future Past, I still haven't quite decided if I'll rewrite it in 3rd person. That will be a decision for later.

Peace, love, and goodnight,

Pamela

Do Us Never Part

In the cry of the subtle wind
With arms he'd lost in the war
He felt her heart and her mind and her soul
He'd loved her long ago
Meaning wrapped around words
The found not lost
And in his eyes, she was the same as she had ever been.
Here he'd waited all this time
The gate stayed open for him
But he'd insisted, he'd promised
He would love her forever, not just until death
And here he was keeping his word
Waiting as eternity past
Waited
Waiting again.
He'd felt her song as she came to him
And she smiled

How love threads through the soul
He knew it was true
She was the light of his life then
And now after it, too.

"Theory of a Tramp" by Pamela Caves - Excerpt

Theory of a Tramp is available on Smashwords (several formats available), Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or search for it on your favorite site! It is now free on most sites. 

Olivia has just found a racy text message on her husband's phone... 

From Theory of a Tramp ~

She found it difficult to catch her breath in the midst of the hatred she felt. How dare he! She had done nothing but devote her life to him and how did he repay her? How dare he! How the hell could he be so selfish? How could he stoop so low? How could he do this to her? How dare he!

Once the trembling subsided enough for her to catch her breath, she delicately placed the phone back on the counter. She recalled a moment in time several years ago when a mutual friend of theirs had confessed to cheating on his lovely wife. Olivia remembered the discussion with Bill that had followed. She thought about how she might feel if he ever cheated on her, (which, by the way, was nothing compared to the reality of it) and she had told him that if she ever discovered he’d cheated on her, she’d kill him.

He chuckled at the time and said she’d never have to worry about such a thing. She remembered feeling lucky then. She was so lucky he was hers and only hers. He’d been her everything.

Sweat soaked her shirt. She slid to the floor, exhausted, livid, sad… her chest ached. Her heart was completely and utterly broken.

He wouldn’t get away with this. She wouldn’t lose everything she had because he couldn’t keep it in his pants.

With only a couple of hours until he came home, she contemplated her next move. He would come in and want a beer. He would trudge upstairs and soak in a warm bath. She knew what she had to do.

Once he was dead, she’d be okay. She would miss him but she knew it was the right thing to do.

***

Discover a twist you won't expect!

Theory of a Tramp is available on Smashwords (several formats available), Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or search for it on your favorite site! It is now free on most sites.

Rainsville Girl in Lauren Alaina Video

Okay, so second post in one day but I had to share this. I went to the gym this morning and you know how women love to talk! I overheard that a local gal was in a Lauren Alaina video. I love local stories and love when a local goes out and chases their dreams. So click this link to YouTube to see Rainsville gal, Courtney Willingham (playing the waitress) in the new Lauren Alaina video, "Georgia Peaches".

Congrats to Courtney for this recent bout of success!

Sometimes there are real reasons behind bad behavior.

I just finished watching Catfish. Here's a little preview for those who don't know what I'm talking about.

(Author's note: If you haven't watched this movie/documentary but want to and don't want it spoiled, don't read any further.)

Yes, it's been out for awhile but I'm a working mom. I can't stay current with entertainment. I haven't even seen the last Harry Potter yet. (NERD GASP!) In any case, probably the first thing that people think of when they find out that someone has been lying to them online, that relationships weren't what they thought they were, is nothing short of "You psycho." I've never been in that position but I can't imagine that I would think much else of someone who had duped me like that. I'd be too afraid, I guess, to dig deeper for fear of my family's (and my own) safety.

I'm glad the filmmakers decided to make this film. Often we don't think about what others go through on a daily basis. We don't often think about how hard it is to juggle so much work and stress, how mind numbing it must be to provide full time care for those who are mentally challenged. Does this excuse lying to others? No. But there is something to be said for understanding. Heading into her fantasy world was probably the only way Angela could think of to stay sane.

Loneliness

I remember how lonely I felt when my kids were very little. They depended on me for everything, everyday, and sometimes it got terribly overwhelming. I read all the books, listened to all the advice, but still, I wasn't prepared for the emotional shift. No one really understands that shift until after they have their first child. But that emotional shift is temporary as you get settled into your new role and as your child slowly grows into his/her own independence. Think about a decade or more of constant care for someone, or as in Angela's case, more than one person. Think about how much of yourself is sacrificed, how much of yourself you have to abandon. It may have been something you wanted or signed up for, but the emotional stress of the reality of it has to be tremendous. It's hard for me to even imagine.

Fear of self

Being herself wasn't enough for Angela and if you think about it, it probably isn't enough for a lot of people. Take a guess how many fake Twitter and Facebook celebrity accounts there are. (Let's just say LOTS.) People have a need to escape into someone else's life, even if only for a few minutes a day. Why? Different reasons for different people. Some just want the attention but others are too afraid of being themselves for fear that no one will like them. I guess that's why Angela gave credit from her art to a child. "They'll like it coming from her because she's a cute 8 year old. They won't like it coming from me because I'm too ordinary."

I know I've had those thoughts before: Maybe if I was a little more feminine, a little prettier, maybe I would be able to get people to recognize that I have a talent to offer the world. Who hasn't struggled at some point and thought, if I were like so-and-so, I could really get someone's attention? More of us than we'd like to admit, I bet.

Lesson learned

It's great that those guys were able to get Angela whittled down into one genuine person. And it's great that there are people who can see past something like that into the complicated depths behind the scenes. I can't say that I would've responded with such an open mind; even though I proclaim to have one.

It's a reminder not to judge others so quickly, no matter how bad they may first seem. Most likely they have a story behind their behavior. And you will never truly know their story.

This is a movie that will stick with me for a long time and I appreciate the people who worked to get it into my hands. Thanks, y'all.

Peace, love, and understanding,

Pamela

Hello, Kindle, I'm new-fangled now!

Even though I thought I'd made myself clear about not getting a present, the hubs took it upon himself to break that pact not once, but twice.

About a week before Christmas, I discovered a brand new coffee maker hiding in (drum roll please) the trunk of my own car. It was all digital and stuff, too. I felt new-fangled. Okay, so I let him off the hook for that one but only because caffeine was again coursing through my veins. Addiction kinda blurs lines, ya know.

You have to understand that in my neck of the woods, people around here don't have a lot of money, including my family. We don't get the NEXT BIG THING that hits the shelves, especially technology. So for as long as ereaders have been out, I still didn't have one. If I downloaded anything, I did so in .pdf and then dealt with the eye strain and the heat that comes along with reading on a computer screen.

I suppose that my addiction to caffeine mirrors my addiction to reading. In my rural area, bookstores are few and far between. Not that I could really afford to buy a new book every time one that interested me came out and I can rarely disappear to the public library without a kidlet hanging on my coattails. I was always on the lookout for something new to read. I despised reading on my netbook screen and always found myself out of books.

So hubs surprised me with a brand new early model Kindle. Now, I should have been mad because we both knew we couldn't afford gifts for each other and had discussed that we wanted to get gifts for all the kids instead. But I couldn't be mad at him for long. I was like a little kid in a candy store. I immediately headed to Smashwords and started downloading. Talk about feeling new-fangled, I certainly felt it then. I have about a dozen stories waiting on me in my new Kindle right now. Once I can get to an area with WiFi, I'll be able to register it with Amazon and start downloading from there, too. I'm ecstatic at knowing that I'll never be out of reading material again!

Paper books vs. Ebooks

This has been an ongoing debate for as long as ebooks have been sprouting up like dandelions. Some people are so fiercely attached to paper books that they will refuse an ereader until the day they die. And what does this mean for authors? No more book signings? No more bookstores? Personally, (even as much as I hate to admit it) I think the world is headed into an era where if we don't have an ereader, we won't read much at all. It will happen gradually over the next several decades. The only time where print books will be available will be part of collector sets, specifically printed for the author to sign. But that's just my prediction.

People talk about the joys of thumbing through pages and the smell of the book being part of the "reading experience". I sometimes wonder if these people really know what they are talking about or if they've ever given an ereader a try. It's not the smell of a book that I love or the probability of paper cuts as I turn the pages; it's the story, it's the characters, it's the author's ability to tell me about the world that has formed within his imagination, to make it believable and realistic, to make me care about and relate to the protagonist. It doesn't matter if it's on smelly paper or on a Kindle. If it's not good, it's not going to succeed in either venue.

I'm not against print books. I'd like to think that I have a few signings in my future, not to mention I am sooooo looking forward to the day I can hold up my very own copy of my very first novel... in print. It's been my dream as far back as I can remember. That will never change. But I've discovered that an ereader, my Kindle, is so easy to handle. I take it to the gym and set it up on the elliptical as I chug away. I put it in my purse to read on car rides or anywhere that I would have to wait for any length of time. It passes the time very quickly.

I'm looking forward to a long relationship with my Kindle. Of course, I'll still have a few print books here and there but because I'm a reading junkie, I will likely get most of my material via electronics. They will be more accessible to me that way.

Peace, love, and happy (electronic) reading,

Pamela

Colors of the New Year

At the time, it seemed right
Bathed in hues of deep red
Only few we keep
Most we lose

In that time
There was love

At the time, it seemed crazy
Bathed in hues of floating blue
Simple to imagine
Harder to realize

In that time
There was peace

At the time, it seemed inspiring
Bathed in hues of overwhelming yellow
Daunting in task
Not many who care

At that time
There was charity

Crossing from past to future
Ready for what's to be...

At this time, it seems magical
Bathed in hues of shimmering purple
Holding fast to our hearts
Giving light to the life we breathe

In this time
There is hope

Happy New Year.