Wednesday, January 15, 2014

You're supposed to light his fire, not snuff his sunshine.

Andrew Mayne and his "mark" in Don't Trust Andrew Mayne
Photo Credit:
There's a new show on A&E called, Don't Trust Andrew Mayne. It's a 30-minute, cool mix of magic and humor. I really enjoy it so far.

The first episode, "Father of Anarchy", though, had me squirming in my seat. The main premise here was that a woman was complaining about her husband's obsession with motorcycles. She "made him" sign a contract before they were married that he would give up riding and never touch a bike again but he eventually slid back into that passion. She enlisted the help of Andrew Mayne to get her point across that motorcycles are dangerous and she wanted him to STOP. Mayne did an awesome balloon/levitation/explosion thing with the bike (yes, I know, my vocabulary to describe this is astounding), and the wife and hubby left hand in hand, point made; though the hubby didn't look especially thrilled about the wife's demands.

Throughout the episode, I kept wanting Andrew Mayne to say something to the wife. It seemed as if he perhaps wanted to, and at one point, I thought he was going to. But it never happened.

Lookit, marriage is embedded with difficulty. I know this first hand. As a young, naïve bride, I might have demanded my husband give up something he was passionate about if I didn't like it but as a woman who has experienced reality, I understand that marriage isn't all about me. If there is something that my husband loves, is passionate about, that makes his eyes light up with glee, that creates sunshine in an otherwise dark, twisted world, why in the world would I, who is supposed to love him with every fiber of my being (I'm having too much fun with bad clichés; my apologies), want to take that away from him?

It's dangerous, yes, and I might have to draw the line or incredibly compromise about the kids doing it, but you don't marry someone expecting them to change and that's what this is. She wanted and expected him to just give up something he was passionate about. It may be dangerous but so is everything else in life. It's not illegal, he's not harming anyone.

I'm not trying to demonize her. Her fears and her worries are very real and I can sympathize with that. He obviously loves her very much to even try to agree to such a "contract" in the first place. But marriage isn't about yourself, it's about the other person and I couldn't imagine a scenario where I would demand that my husband give up something he loves; I couldn't bring myself to take away something that made him happy because in the end, I want my husband to be totally happy. In the same respect, if he came to me and told me to give up something that I was passionate about, I would probably start to resent him and start to question if he really loved me and cared about my happiness in the same way I cared about his.

Whatever works for each couple, though, to each their own, I suppose. I hope it works out for them. I really do.

Now, off to watch another episode...

Peace, love, and happiness,


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