I tend to want to do everything myself. I can be Super Woman if I want. Asking for help isn't in my nature and it takes the threat of the zombie apocalypse to get me to do it. I hate asking anyone to watch my children if I have to go somewhere without them, I hate asking for help with the household chores if I'm getting overwhelmed, and I hate asking for help when it comes to my school work.
Over ten years ago, I failed my math class. It had a little to do with dedication and a lot to do with the fact that I just didn't want to ask for help. I could do everything on my own! And if I couldn't, well, I kinda gave up.
Math has been the one thing holding me back from going back to school all these years. Sounds stupid, huh? But it's true. I had it in my head that I couldn't do it, and I didn't even give it a hearty, half-assed try.
So jump forward some. I decided to go back to school (obviously), and when I found out the college offered in-class math (as opposed to just the online classes), I jumped for joy and aced the class. You see, there's something in my brain that can't seem to comprehend a book and tutorials on-screen the way I can having a bona-fide teacher in front of me. Then the bombshell. If I wanted to graduate next May, I needed to take my last math course. Online.
So for the last few weeks, I've been diligently working on the weirdest math I've ever seen. I've made good progress and my grades are good. But then I got stuck on some base addition problems that I just couldn't comprehend. It was difficult this morning to walk into the math lab and ask a tutor to help me. Turns out, she really didn't know how to do the problems either so we sat down together, she went over the book and tutorials and blissfully helped me see the pattern I was missing before.
Soon after, I aced the homework and test for the chapter, (I swear I was so happy, rainbows and unicorns were following me back to my car). I then saw a message on my phone from my cousin in Arkansas. She, too, is back in school but her nemesis isn't math, it's English. She was asking for my help and I told her I would help her as much as I could.
Everyone has their different reasons for not going back to school. English for some, math for others, and maybe throw in a panic of the Fundamentals of Public Speaking and it is no wonder so many people can't see themselves back in a classroom.
But it really isn't that terrifying. If I can conquer Weird Math 5029, you can conquer your fear, too.
Peace, love, and in some cases, 1+1 does equal 10,
Pamela
Great timing for what I'm dealing with... My biggest fear is that my company will outgrow me. Not because I don't think we can handle the workload -- I can figure that out... but because I don't want to ask for help trying to get my rotten office/accounting practices straightened out. I'm scared to death that someone will walk in here, take one look, and immediately call the crew from Hoarders: Buried Alive! Yes, it is that bad... almost. **sigh** Anyway, thanks for the boot in the butt toward getting off high center, sucking it up, and asking for help. xoxo
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