Writing a novel isn't as easy as just writing a novel. I'm not deliberately trying to type in some foreign code but that's often how the writing world is, a big code that we have to decipher. The writing, they say, is the easy part.
But is it really?
I started Future Past early last year. I finished the second draft a year later and I have a publisher that is interested. But this interest hinges on what will be my final draft.
I've already done a rough comb through. In doing so, I've learned how to trim the fat, so to speak. I've knocked a substantial bit of the word count off. I was worried about how the publisher would view a 73k fantasy novel and my suspicions were confirmed. It just isn't a high enough word count. While the editor did say that a story is only as long as what it takes to tell it, hearing the word "100k" told me that there is something missing in my story. I have since figured out what it was so now I just need to figure out a way to get it to work without losing the key points of the story.
So the novel that I thought was finished has barely begun. But I'm so in love with this story that there will be no giving up on it, no matter how tough it gets. My main character has been through enough already. :)
My biggest problem lies in that I'm terrified. I've been handed so many rejection slips over the last decade or so that when something good comes along, I automatically become skeptical. When I find that the good news is really good news, my hopes waver on the edge of a precipice. My heart is out there and each time the good news turns sour, my emotions plummet to the bottom. I'm not writing this to gain sympathy or for a "woe is me" kick. It's just that I'm sure there are many, many others writers who know exactly how this feels. Sometimes we just want to give up. Like a boxer who has been beaten so badly and who is so exhausted all he wants to do is forfeit... yeah, we feel that way sometimes. Yet we keep going back in to get pounded in the head some more.
I've put Future Past on hold for a few weeks while I work on the beginning of my science fiction series, Barrier. Once the first draft of that story is completed, I'm going to dig into Future Past with fresh eyes and make it work. I'm trying not to be scared. I believe I might have enough determination in me to combat the apprehension I feel.
Let's get it done.
Peace and strength of mind,