Yes, I'd like some cheese with my whine. Better yet, just gimme a magic pill that will fix my back.

This week has probably been one of the more difficult weeks I've had with my back in quite some time.  I've been used to having "off" days that cleared up (as best it can clear up in my situation; for a rehash, click here for the topic "back pain" and filter back through my posts) but the major pain never lasts more than a day or two at the most.  This bout of lower back pain has been ongoing since last Sunday.  I'm walking like an elderly woman, having to be extra careful about how I move, which direction I move... then when I lay or sit down, my back is so swollen that I feel like I'm resting against balls on my back.  Pain is starting to roll down my leg again in small, aching waves.  I can shift positions and it will ease up but the fact that its even there in the first place is disturbing.

One of the main topics that is helping me make this blog popular is the chronicles of my life post discectomy.  The search terms used to find this blog sometimes makes me really sad.  Some of these terms are: "why am I still in pain after back surgery?" to "six months after discectomy still in pain" to "not better after discectomy" and it's enough to wonder if this is the norm.  Are there any success stories of post discectomy surgery out there?  I'm sorry you are going through this, too.  :(  I really feel like I'm living with a handicap. But what are the options?  Live in pain without having surgery or live in pain after having the surgery?  It's confusing and I'm starting to feel defeated.

As for the gym, the owner and I have an agreement that I do all their online management for free in exchange for free membership.  But I'm tired of going in just to use the treadmill when I have one at home to use or when I could easily walk around in my own neighborhood.  Not that I've been able to even use a treadmill this week...

My poor son told me yesterday, "Well, Momma, just go back to the doctor."  To children it is so simple.  Go to a doctor and he'll fix you.  I'd probably be shuffled back to the same neurosurgeon who released me from his care prematurely with no further instructions on how to improve my back.  I'd probably have to do another MRI that I can't afford.  And that's the thing.  I just can't afford anything else right now.

I guess when it gets to the point that I can't take it any more, I'll head back to the doctor.  Until then, I'll try to keep the whining to a reasonable level.

Peace, love, and wah,

Pamela