I'm employed!!!!!

Advice is just that. Advice. Sometimes it's spot on, sometimes it's not. More often than not, advice is simply experience-based guessing.

My heart is singing at present because a couple of weeks ago, I finally got that full-time job. I've been on the hunt for over a year, and I've been on many, many interviews. I've sought the advice from seasoned veterans which generally goes something like this:

"Substitute in the schools you want to be in. That will get your foot in the door."

"Take your resume to the school itself, even if you applied online. Talk to that principal."

Well, the job I got was at a school where I'd never subbed. I also didn't go to the school and turn in a resume. I didn't know anyone at that school and never talked to anyone before the phone call to schedule my interview.

Ironic that I put in hours at other schools and tried to kick that door open with all of them... only to be rejected over and over and over and over... then I saw the job posting for a school I'd never been in. At that point, I already felt defeated and thought I was about to start another school year barely employed. I hit that submit button to turn in my application, and I never gave it another thought.

Then I was called for an interview. Less than a week later, my placement was approved. I'm now doing the teacher shuffle; I'm getting my classroom ready, going to meetings and PD, and planning my lessons. I'm thankful and ecstatic, and I'm looking forward to meeting my students next week.

Sooooo, in the interim, while I'm completing my graduate degree, teaching full-time high school and part-time college, I will very likely be unable to devote any time to anything else. I still have various writings floating around the marketplace, but new material will have to wait. That's okay, though. I'm learning, I'm loving life, and I'm moving forward.

See you all very soon!

Peace, love, and teaching,

Pamela

I'm not crazy. I'm just INFJ.

Hi y'all. I don't often share something online unless I'm impressed by it. I realize that this is going to sound like marketing, but I promise that I was not paid to share this or write about it in any way. I was browsing through one of my editing groups on Facebook today and came across a personality test. I usually don't think much about these things because most quiz apps that connect to Facebook  are just looking to highjack information. This one is not associated with Facebook, it was just a link, and when I shared it on social media, immediately several people confirmed that it was, in fact, legit.

There's a good chance that you've heard about the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, a personality inventory that can tell you more about... well, yourself. I took the quiz on 16personalities.com and when I finished, I was rather astonished at the initial accuracy.

Over the course of a handful of pages, this personality profile detailed my mannerisms and behavior as an INFJ, and was so on-point that I am still rather in awe of it. And here's why I'm so taken with it:

I have often felt so out of place with friends, family, ANYONE. I often feel terribly isolated, even within a room full of people. I wonder sometimes if I'm the only person who can ever see logic, who can look into veiled manipulation and call it out, and who cares about issues that are important. When I read the profile, though, it was a relief to know that I'm not out there on my own. I somehow needed that relief today. I've been horribly stressed under the weight of job hunting, graduate school, and just the general venom of politics that seems to swarm wherever I look. And it doesn't help that I usually don't have much, if any, daily conversation time with any like-minded individuals.

This was a nice respite. I'm looking forward to learning more about the INFJ personality and learning more about myself. I hope you get something out of it as well. :)

Peace, love, and INFJ,

Pamela

Well, THAT was unexpected...

Last week, I wrote this blog post: my feeble attempt at remaining positive when I couldn't see a light at the end of the tunnel. I'd spent the last few months of my job search being rejected over and over and over. One rejection in particular made me feel like utter crap because I'd gone above and beyond the base requirements and requests to obtain the particular position I was going for. I sank, and I let my grief run its course.

Then I dug right back in. I was looking for work outside of teaching as well. I love teaching, but I don't think that love has to be exclusive; it works in much the same way as my joy of writing. I find joy in many things. I don't have to only find joy in one thing.

In any case, there I was last Wednesday, working my last day as an English tutor. For almost three years, my work there brought me immense satisfaction. My students, my colleagues, and my supervisors have been fantastic. My colleagues threw me a little going-away party and I found myself in tears on more than one occasion that day. The next day, I was helping out in the admissions office when one of my mentors came bounding through the door looking for me. She informed me that I'll be teaching a class this upcoming semester. The title of Adjunct Instructor has a nice ring to it. :-D :-) I'd had no idea that she'd been trying to get it approved for the last couple of weeks. Now I have a sharp incentive to go ahead and start applying to graduate programs. I'll greet 2017 by beginning my journey to obtain my master's degree.

In any case, I'm prepping for class, applying for another position at the college, looking forward to working in the admissions office this week, campaigning for council, and overall, just relishing the notion that my life is moving in places I'd never thought was possible for this point in my life. My friends and colleagues kept telling me that something would happen when I least expected it, and that God had plans for me. I couldn't see it at the time, but they were certainly correct.

Peace, love, and surprises,

Pamela

College is Finito!

diannehope/morguefile

It's been a whirlwind couple of weeks for me. I have finally (and suddenly, it seems) completed my education. I keep being asked about going forth with another degree; my answer is, simply, not at this time. Maybe one day I will, but for now, I want to get back into the writing that lights my life. I want to focus on teaching, and I want to take a little time to breathe and be with my family. I feel like I've been running uphill for the last few years, so it's time to crawl over that peak and see what's on the other side.

And it seems to have hit me and sunk in all within the last several days. I turned in my last assignments. I am making plans for graduation. I'm printing out resumes. Then I realized that I was saying goodbye to over a hundred students. Teaching has been a challenge, but it has been a remarkable experience. When I realized I wouldn't get to see those kids everyday... well, it put a hole in my heart. I love those kids and even as great it is to be done, I still feel incredibly glum. Top this with the knowledge that I will not be returning to my tutoring job in the fall. This summer is the last semester I'll spend helping students with their college courses. Everything is changing, and while I'm happy about it, I still can't help but feel a little overwhelmed with the reality of it all. I hope that makes sense.

The last few years have been remarkably fantastic, but also terribly difficult. We almost lost our home. One of the cars died, and we couldn't get it fixed for many months. I spent a semester and a half worrying about how to get my hubs back and forth to work, how I was going to get back and forth to work and class, and how we were going to manage with the kids. There have been many sleepless nights, and many days where I didn't know if I was going to make it through. Heck, the last few months struggling with the revenue commissioner's office in Fort Payne (in which none but one employee knew the whats, hows, and whys of their job) seemed to be just the last kick in the long line of attempted road blocks.

On the flip side, I have made some incredible friendships, and I've been advised by some great mentors. There is no way that I can possibly list everyone because I'm sure to miss someone that's had a prominent role in the last few years of my life. So if you've given me advice, if you've answered a question (or 1,000 questions), if you've driven me or my hubs or my children somewhere, if you've watched my kids so that I could go to class or to my observations, if you've answered panicky questions about exams, if you've made me smile during a looooong and dull class, if you've been understanding about my lack of time and stamina,  and if you've endured my mood swings, I thank you from the deepest depths of my heart. I couldn't have done it without you. :)

Peace, love, and onward,

Pamela

I'm still here. Sorta.

Hi! I just looked back at the posts I've written in 2015 and realized I didn't pop in much at all last year. This isn't really surprising to me considering this post I shared a year and a half ago. Still, though, I like to come in from time to time to share a thought or two, just so those just now joining the blog know that it isn't one of the oodles of abandoned blogs out there. So, here's an update on how things are going:

School

I've just started my final semester at Athens State University. I've started my internship this week, and am on my way toward graduation. The last few years chasing down my education has been some of the hardest years of my life. It has taken more will and determination than I ever thought I possessed, but I'm finally on the home stretch.

In addition to this has been my job as a writing tutor at Northeast State Community College. Over the last few years, I've seen many students pass through toward graduation or higher education, and seeing them push for their futures has helped motivate me to continue my own push.

So here I am, only months away from graduation with probably the hardest semester I've ever had facing me. I told my Facebook friends that my mantra this semester is courtesy of the character of Enid from The Walking Dead: Just Survive Somehow. I'll get through it the same way I've gotten through the last few years of study: by working hard, taking one day at a time, praying often, and understanding that there are just some things that I have no control over.

Back Pain

I could summarize the entire saga of my back pain but I'll pass on that. If you want to read up on it, you can click here and scroll back through my posts on the subject. The last time I updated about this subject was when I got a steroid injection and was doing physical therapy. That was over two years ago. I never went back for another steroid injection. The shot only worked for a few weeks. During the weeks following, I continued physical therapy for the recommended time and after my sessions ended, I kept up those exercises in an effort to keep the pain away. It worked well. I did have days where I hurt more than others, but I was able to recuperate fairly easily by just resting and engaging in general ache and pain relief. Overall, I've had to learn what my new normal was. What doctors don't tell you after a discectomy like mine is that your life will forever change. I was so focused on getting "back to normal" that I didn't realize that I had to find a new normal.

Now to the present. Week before last, I noticed that something was a little "off" about my back. I couldn't explain it and it wasn't really painful. Not at first. Through the course of the week, I went from "Okay, this feels odd," to being in debilitating pain by Friday. I had to make an emergency appointment with the doctor I haven't seen in over two years. A round of oral steroids has helped me function, but now it's just a waiting game. I just had a MRI today and will find out what's going on later.

In the meantime, I guess that's all I have updates on. Nothing much has changed for us. The kids are growing and thriving, and aside from this little stint with my back, I'm very much in love with my life and family. I haven't written any new fiction in a while, but I'm writing research papers so that still counts. :) I promise to come out with some new stuff after May.

Peace, love, and carrying on with life,

Pamela

Never Forget

Only one story of millions. One perspective of 9/11.

Sixteen years ago today, I married my ex-husband. Two years later, I had the day off and we were planning an excursion to Chattanooga to celebrate our anniversary. I emerged from the shower and my then-husband said, "A plane crashed into the Twin Towers."

At the time, I was young and uneducated. All I pretty much did in those days was work, come home, repeat. I didn't generally watch or listen to the news. So when my then-husband told me about the crash, I didn't even know what the Twin Towers were. My brain went somewhere that told me it was a horrible accident and nothing more.

On our drive, we listened to the radio. The news was talking about the crash and had indicated that another plane had crashed. And another at the Pentagon. I was trying to force myself to believe anything other than a terrorist attack. That stuff didn't happen in the United States. However, I knew that three planes crashing into structures within such a small time-frame couldn't be coincidence. But I couldn't, or maybe I was trying to refuse, to make sense of it.

As we muddled through an oddly sparse Chattanooga, I still couldn't bring myself to believe in that type of malice. The memory is hazy and maybe that's how I walked around that day: in a haze, listening to the scared whispers and murmurs of those around me. A older woman at the aquarium caught my eye after saying something about the attack (which I still couldn't process) and I remember the look of anxiousness upon her face as she searched around her for normalcy and comfort. I'm sure when she looked at me, instead of kind eyes and shared panic, she saw a confused young woman.

I began to accept that the United States had been the target of a horrendous attack. The death toll began to sink in and I flipped on the television that night to learn more about what had happened, to try and grasp the concept of what forever would be a changed world for myself and everyone in this nation. I saw footage of people in a country of which I can't remember the name. They were celebrating in their streets: whooping, smiling, laughing, cheering, dancing. The image of an old woman in a black dress and black scarf over her head pumped her fists in the air, and with a huge grin across her dark, wrinkled face, chanted enthusiastically in a language I didn't know. My heart fell and I sobbed as my world shifted. I didn't understand how she or those in that crowd--or anyone anywhere in the world--could be so happy over so many lost lives. I still don't understand.

When my students or children ask me hard questions about why some people do the horrible things they do, I can only shake my head and tell them I don't know. That's the answer I learned that day. I just don't know. I understand that people will exhibit behaviors that I don't understand. We can reason with ourselves and say, oh, it's the way they were raised, or they were betrayed and hurt by their parents or family, or they have a physiological or behavioral disorder, but it doesn't do anything to quell the sadness and loss, especially when so many people out there are bent on hurting others with a wave of people behind them ready to cheer them on.

But the flip-side to this is that I saw so many more people stepping up and binding together to rebuild, to comfort, and to give of themselves. What others do is beyond our control. What we can control is our reaction to what those others do. What I can do as an individual is try to maintain positivity in all aspects of my life. I can do for others. I can retain my empathy for those around me. I can love. I can help when I see a need.

That is the rest of the response I have when those hard questions come: I don't know what makes some people do the terrible things they do, but I can react in a positive way.

Peace, love, and never forget,

Pamela

It's all about perspective

I get so irritated when I see politicians bring up a decision or stance that someone made 5 years ago, 10 years ago, or even longer. "We should all hate Candidate Doe because he was for legalizing wild bobcats as pets 20 years ago!" Think about it. We see these claims ALL THE TIME now, especially since the presidential election is coming up. Is it not plausible or acceptable for people to regret decisions they've once made or change their minds on issues or situations after having a little perspective? Can you say that you would make the same decisions now that you did when you were younger? Changing one's mind, changing one's stance, changing one's perception... it's all part of human growth.

I think about this concept more now as I creep closer to graduation. As I read some of the things I wrote even as close as two years ago, I'm amazed at some of my decisions and stances then. Education has truly changed me. I am not the same person I was and it's hard to look at some of my old posts and not consider deleting them; I fear that someone might see those posts and think that what I posted then aligns with my thought process now. But I resist that urge only because I want to remember where I was then and how much I've grown.

One such post came across my TimeHop app recently. Apparently, I'd just been told that I was about to have to pay $100 for my childrens' "free" educations. Understandably, I was upset. Not unlike many families, we struggle financially. I questioned the purpose of us paying $50 a piece for supply fees for our kids when I could have gotten all the supplies both children needed for school for less than $50. I was certain that what I was paying for was not only supplies for my child, but supplies for the children whose parents weren't able (or willing) to pay. Why was it my responsibility to provide for those children?

In response to the post, I can now tell Former Me some things about education and schools that she didn't know or didn't really think about then.

"Hey, I get that you're upset. I understand your point, but I think that you should first take into account those workbooks. Do you remember when you were a kid and had to wait in line at a local store to buy workbooks and how expensive they were? Now consider that these materials are going through the school. Yay! No more waiting in line and hoping you got the right workbook! Considering this, $50 doesn't seem like a whole heckuva lot now, does it?

"Also consider how fantastic it is not to have to wedge your way into the back-to-school section at Wal-Mart and hope that you can get every exact specification on the list. You'll like that plan when Zachary goes into the 4th grade and you have a list of precise supplies to buy. Oh, so you don't understand why a kid would specifically need a green folder and a yellow folder? Why can't it be just any color, you ask? Well, it's easier for a teacher to say to 30 young students, 'Get out your yellow folders.' This allows for smoother transitions between subjects and allows more time for teaching. You'll come to realize that in teaching, every second counts!

"Finally, I know that there will always be those parents who honestly can't afford to pay the fees for their children. I also know that there will always be those parents who will refuse to pay the fees, whether they can really afford to or not. In either case, you have enough problems, right? Why should you have to pay for supplies for those other kids, especially if you don't know which kind of kids are getting the waivers? On that point, forgive me, but I have to say, GET OVER YOURSELF.  It isn't the child's fault when parents can't or won't pay their fees. If you have serious money issues, talk to the teacher and work out some sort of payment plan, otherwise, pay it and stop worrying and whining. Do you realize just how much money teachers take out of their own pockets to pay for things so your children can be comfortable and happy and ready to learn? No, you don't know it, yet. You will soon, though. Point is, it is not the teacher's fault and it isn't any of the kids' faults. Don't take out your frustrations on them."

So, yeah. I would have given Former Me a good swift kick and reminded her to remember the importance of giving and doing what we can for the betterment of society. Being on the other side of things has provided me with a perspective I never once considered before.

On that note, I must get back to business. I finished my last exam for the summer semester yesterday and am gearing up for the Praxis exams in less than a month. The kids will go back to school in two weeks. This summer (and the year!) has totally flown by. It's hard to believe that by this time next year, I will be finished with this part of my education. I told you, dear reader, that I wouldn't see much of you in the interim and I apologize for that. When I emerge, I will be ready with new stories and new experiences to share! Until then...

Peace, Love, and Teaching,

Pamela

The DIY Kitchen Remodel Weight Loss Plan. It Really Works!

I have discovered a weight loss plan that really works! It is, sadly, a bit expensive, but if you're looking to remodel your kitchen and lose weight, this is the plan for you!

Disclaimer: Individual results may vary. Author assumes no responsibility for stress-related ailments as a result of using this plan.

Step 1: Pack your entire kitchen neatly into totes, vowing that you won't forget where and how it is all packed.

Step 2: Tear down entire kitchen: floors, walls, cabinets, etc. (a.k.a exercise)

Step 3: Get hungry. Forget where everything is packed.

Step 4: Spend hours going through totes. Just when the Universe seems to hate you, find the food you are looking for.

Step 5: Realize that you don't know where the pots and pans are located either.

Step 6: Break down and cry.

Step 7: Get in your car and head to the nearest restaurant for takeout, hoping no one sees you because you are covered from head to toe in paint, dust, and drywall.

Step 8: See everyone you know and explain multiple times that you don't normally go out looking like that.

Step 9: Get home and finally begin eating but realize that you're so exhausted, you can't finish.

Step 10: Find the pots and pans.

Step 11: Begin slowly rebuilding the kitchen. (a.k.a more exercise)

Repeat steps 3 thru 11 for the next 2 to 513 months.

Wa-la! The weight has melted away!

Life Just Is

Three years ago, my husband and I separated. Up until that point, and even some thereafter, I was
sure that he and I as a unit wouldn't last. I've always loved him, yes, but sometimes love isn't enough; I don't have to tell realistic people this, though.

To be honest, I still don't know if we'll make it. I promised forever and I will do my best to hold on to that, but no one knows the future. Life always changes. Life is imperfect. Love and marriage are also imperfect, and that's okay.

It took a long while for this concept to grow and develop for me. We learn starting in childhood that there is a definitive line between black and white, right and wrong, and that if you believe in something, you have to believe in it ALL THE WAY, never leaving any give for that certain imperfection or for indefinite differing situations. We want to believe that there are easy answers to life and that answers to some of the same questions can't change over time. Realistically, life just is though, and we can kill ourselves trying to figure everything out. We can also kill ourselves constantly searching for that unchanging bliss and perfection that we're sure is around the next corner, but it doesn't happen that way.

In a way, I know this sounds clinical and unfeeling. It really isn't. :) Life just is, though. Nothing is certain and nothing is forever. Things and people grow, though, and that is just as important as the realization that happiness is not something you can just grab and hold hostage in your hand forever.

For the most part, life is wonderful. Eddie and I have our spats and disagreements as we probably always will. We haven't always liked each other or ourselves either. However, when I stopped worrying about the intensity of the marriage, mutual feelings, and began to plow forward to try to make the best life for our children, us, and yes, even myself, I began to understand that life just is. This concept has been the best thing that has ever happened to us as a couple.

I am so thankful for him. He is a great husband, father, and friend. I thank God for not only bringing him into my life but also for giving me the ability to see that life just is so I can enjoy my marriage and kids without trying to shove life into some exquisite little box.

Ten years we've been married. I'm not going to bull**** anyone by saying that those years have gone by quickly and we are just as in love as the day we married... blah, blah, blah. I can say that while I may not love him more than I did then, I definitely love him deeper and wider and stronger than I could have ever imagined. And no, some of those years did not go by quickly, LOL. I wouldn't relive them, but I wouldn't trade them either.

Happy Anniversary, honey. I appreciate you and love you more than I can express.

Peace, love, and life,

Pamela

Thanksgiving, Creative Writing, and Sudden Allergies

Hi everyone!

I'm taking a few minutes to update because I don't want y'all to think I've abandoned this blog; I've just been busy as of late, which I'm sure many of you can understand and relate to.

Thanksgiving is naturally a time of reflection and I've been reflecting about how absolutely imperfectly perfect everything is! Thing is, something huge happened just a few weeks back; my closest sister moved away. I won't go into detail but it has affected me (and obviously continues to affect me) in a big way. It affected Thanksgiving as well.

Though it still bothers me to a degree, I came home from all the family goings-on and understood that I'm okay. I got to see all my step-children over the holiday weekend along with those precious grandbabies, several in-laws, nieces, nephews... the list is long! So even though there was an obvious dark space in the day, I didn't dwell on it. The next day, my hubs and I spent Christmas shopping and basking in each other's company sans children. Saturday and today have been spent catching up on minor housework, getting the Christmas decorations out, and studying. I have lots to be thankful for but will sum it all up by saying that I'm thankful for life. Crappy things are going to happen sometimes but I can't let it bog me down. Nothing is ever going to be perfect but they can still be great.

I hope y'all have had a great Thanksgiving as well. :)

In the meantime, school is going along swimmingly. The new college has been an adjustment but overall, I feel I'm doing pretty well and it's made me all-the-more excited about my upcoming teaching career. By the time I graduate, I'm pretty sure I'll be bursting at the seams with excitement.

I mentioned some time back that I would be taking an official creative writing course. Prior to this, I've never taken a professional course in writing (if you don't count other college English courses or short workshops). I have to say that it is just as much a challenge as I thought it would be. I've both loved it and hated it and at times I've been frustrated to tears with it. Any writer knows, though, that I've just described the art of writing in its entirety so that's how I know it's working like it is supposed to. It has forced me to think about varying styles and approaches to poetry and storytelling that I wouldn't have had otherwise. At this point, I feel like taking another level writing course would be a great next step. I can't wait!

And onto the next "thing" to crop up... I've somehow developed allergies to... well, I don't really know. I've spend the majority of the last few months trying to keep my nasal cavities from closing on me, keeping the humidifier full, and taking different allergy meds to try to find relief. It hasn't worked too well. My doc says allergies can develop over time so something I might not have been allergic to before, I could very well be allergic to now. I understand that part of it, I'm just annoyed that my chronic back issues apparently aren't enough for my body to deal with, so it has to add this. Imagine sitting with a student during a tutoring session and suddenly your face flushes, your eyes swell and leak, and your nose closes completely so every word comes out numbed and breathless. Then imagine having to assure the student: "No, I swear it's allergies! Your paper isn't making me cry, I promise!"

It's crazy but I'll deal. I'm just curious if others have had a sudden onset of allergies like this. I sometimes feel like I'm out of my mind.

Okay, so it's time for me to close. If I don't chime in around Christmas or New Year's, just know that I'm busy prepping for the future. I haven't forgotten about my readers. I am thankful for all of you and hope that your holidays are fantastic even if they aren't perfect.

Peace, love, and achoo,

Pamela

Weird Al's "Word Crimes"

I love this and fellow word nerds will love it too! :)

Opening Pandora's Sandbox

What you should consider before putting a sandbox in your yard.

My husband has been talking about putting a sandbox in the yard for a few years now. I have been resistant to the idea because I have a hard enough time cleaning up after two young boys (and the husband) while I work and attend school.

Last week, however, that resistance was bypassed suddenly as my husband got up early one weekend morning, gathered the supplies, and built this before I even had the chance to wipe sleep from my eyes.

Hubs and I both knew that the little turtle sandboxes sold at Walmart wouldn't be big enough for boys ages 6 and 8, so he custom-made this "sand rectangle", complete with a lid. And it's a hit!

For the boys.

Now that the box has been in the yard for a week or so, let me tell you what I've discovered about it:

-The sand is expensive.

Play sand, while marketed in big bags too heavy for my back to handle, doesn't go very far. Ten bags were emptied into the box and it barely left a dent. And it will only keep going from there. We will probably end up buying more before the summer is over.

In all fairness, though, the initial purchase is probably the biggest expense we'll see. Maintenance probably won't take much, so long as we can keep the majority of the sand in the box. This is questionable.

-Neighbor kids flock to it like moths to a flame.

If you're the only family in the neighborhood with a pool, then you probably know the feeling that comes with kids knocking on your door at all hours with their swimming trunks on. My kids can't play in their box without two or more kids coming over. But that's fine... sometimes. When you consider how expensive the sand is when you have four kids or more throwing sand around (not to mention that they are going to argue and fight over toys, what they are building, etc.), things get a little stressed for this mom.

-Sand in the eyes.

Going along with the previous point, when you have such chaos in the sandbox, it's inevitable that a child is going to get sand in their eyes. Sand in the eyes hurts and if they rub their eyes, the sand could scratch their eyeball.

-Sand EVERYWHERE

Though the sandbox is positioned a few feet from both porches, somehow, there is a layer of sand over each porch. In addition, no matter how much the child shakes, shimmies, rattles, and rolls, sand WILL be tracked inside the house. It's a plus that I have hardwood floors in the living room so sweeping isn't too bad an imposition.  However, it's when, after a long day of work, I crawl into bed at night only to discover that it, too, has become a sandbox. This has happened twice. I've had to impose a new rule: only after they've taken a shower are they allowed to stretch out on my bed.

Despite all my gripes, though, the appearance of a sandbox in the yard has made both boys incredibly happy. I suppose I can put up with the annoyances if it gets them out of the house to play.

Peace, love, and sweeping,

Pamela

Another year around the block

So my birthday is Friday and I usually try to do some sort of blog post about my life over the past year. If I don't do it now, I fear I may procrastinate the time away.

There have been many small changes to my life over the last year. I didn't realize just how many changes there were until I started thinking about it. In no particular order, here's what has happened since my last birthday rolled around.

-I released my second novel, Future Past.
-I released two short story collections, Life and Life Odd.
-I graduated from one college and have started another.
-I left behind my old store job.
-I am (finally!) employed in a job that utilizes my writing skills. I am an English tutor at the local college!
-I obtained my substitute certification for the county school system.

It's been a good year, I think. I've also taken on some wonderful new clients and edited some fabulous stories. I continue to learn and grow.

I'm a far cry from that woman who seemed so beaten down and who struggled so much when I first started publishing and blogging. I can see how I've changed over the years based on what I wrote then compared to now. Sometimes I wonder why I was so charged and angry. I have certainly mellowed out some and I attribute a lot of that to my experience running for public office and it is something I've been learning and practicing since. The perspective it gave me about people and their reactions, especially to people in the public eye, has been life-altering.

As a result, my motto as of late has been, "I won't judge." In a world where it seems almost everyone scrutinizes every word, every article of clothing, and every breath, it's hard not to judge instantly and jump on a bandwagon. Of course, I'm human and won't always take that step back, but it's something to strive for.

My goals for the next year are simple: live and be happy. It's a lot easier said than done, I know. Tangible goals? Other than making it through the courses at my new college with A's, I'm not sure. I intend to continue writing, I hope that my schedule allows me to take an actual creative writing course this fall, but other than that, I am just rolling with what happens.

All I can guarantee is right now. This morning, I finished 1500 words of a new short story, completed 75% of a client edit, and am in the process of washing two loads of laundry. Exciting, huh? :) In the meantime, I'm looking forward to another year. Hopefully God will see me through it.

Peace, love, and birthday cake,

Pamela

Major in the Arts, work at Domino's

This commercial (above) does the opposite of what is intended for me. I don't see Domino's, or any other fast food joint, as a hidden alcove of creative talent. In fact, having worked fast food myself back in the day, the job itself is a plethora of corporate rules and often brutal superiors which stifles creativity itself. This commercial is supposed to send a message to the masses that the creatives who make this food are there because of their talented skill-set. The opposite is actually the truth. They are there because there is no other option. Creatives have to survive, too, and survival means money. So with little hope that they can persevere within their skill-set, they turn to the only jobs they can realistically perform; poverty-level, minimum wage work.

I can't speak to others' experiences. For myself, I didn't have the guidance or know-how to understand that I would have to explore career options other than writing in order to have a decent life. Years of frustration and struggle is what most creatives have to deal with. Instead of nurturing these talents early on, the children of creativity are often shoved to the sidelines in favor of capitalistic endeavors. I'm not griping (okay, maybe just a little); that's just the way the world works. Dismal, yes, but there's nothing we can really do about it.

It saddens me that the arts aren't taken more seriously by society in general. This commercial is depressing and sends the message that creatives are worth no more than to struggle in the fast food industry. Sure, you can work full-time or get into management to make a decent living but doing those things leaves little time and energy for your art because those jobs sometimes tend to suck the life right out of you. So while I understand what Domino's is trying to do, for that teen who knows their talent but not how to get there, this is a painful message to swallow.

There is nothing wrong with working these jobs; I dare say that everyone at some point in their lives should have to work a public service job in order to gain a better understanding of humanity. If you've ever had to deal with upset and angry customers who have no compassion when you are trying your best, then you know exactly where I'm coming from. And if you truly enjoy working these jobs and it makes your heart sing, then great! But that isn't why a lot of people work those jobs, especially creatives.

They have to. Think about this next time you expect a creative to give you a painting or drawing for free or cheap, to give you free copies of their books, or work their talent in a way that benefits you without giving them anything in return simply because you believe they enjoy giving their talent away for pure exposure.

One person that comes to mind when I think about this is Rashaad Santiago, a super-talented "Face Off" (SyFy) contestant who supported his family by working in a fast food restaurant. He worked at his talent, despite the odds of being sucked into corporate monotony, and I'm pleased that he has been given a chance to show off what he taught himself. What an opportunity! I hope he goes far in the competition.

Peace, love, and hope for creatives,

Pamela

What Love Is

This is Love. My poor son has been throwing up and running a high fever today. I noticed early on that Tails was spending a lot of time right by him, almost like he didn't want to leave him. He got up a couple of times to eat and use the litter box, but then right back up there he went.

Face 2014 with courage

The beginning of 2013 didn't start very well at all. In fact, it ranks high with the beginning of 2004. Let's just say that I have no desire to relive any moment of the first few months of this year.

It did take a turn for the better, though. My family has, for the most part, reconciled, a little more of my house (that we've been remodeling for seven years) has been completed, we had one of the most awesome vacations I've ever experienced, I finished step one of my degree plan, and published another book.

My household has seen more than usual illness, though; my oldest son has been having stomach issues the last few months and it seems like any insignificant little germ that comes into this house turns into an all out immune system war in my body; like right now as I continuously blow my nose and battle a sinus headache. However, on a good note, we haven't had to deal with anything too serious and in a surprising twist, I'm managing my back pain much better than I have in years.

Going along between good and bad this year, the saddest event was losing my boss on October 24. A month later, I nervously left the store with a friend's words ringing in my ear, "Pam, do you want to get into the education field or stay in retail?" And she was right. I needed to stop being scared of a small money loss and head further in the direction I've been traveling now for the last few years. While Junior's passing wasn't the reason I left the store, it was a factor. My ultimate goals, combined with the loss, was enough to propel me forward. I am proud to say that I managed to get approved to substitute teach for the county and am also starting my new job as an English tutor at Northeast College next week. If I'd let that fear overtake me, I'd have missed out on those two jobs.

I'm certainly ready to tackle the next year.

I have a few writing goals. I want to have my short story collections, a new Barrier, and my prompt book out in the next couple of months and I hope to sell a few more short stories this year to different publishers. For personal goals, I could lose a few pounds, focus more when I'm working on projects ( I tend to flounder sometimes until the last minute), and I need to clear my house of junk. I'm also striving to be more giving, more forgiving, more patient, less judging, and more positive. If there's one lesson I've really learned over the last year is that attitude is extremely important in one's success. If you want something, and I mean really want something, you'll swallow that fear, put on a brave face, and do it.

I hope you have had a good year overall and I'm wishing you the best in the new one.

Peace, love, and on to 2014,

Pamela

All I want for Christmas is... No More Friggin Electronics

I hope everyone has had a great Christmas and is prepared for the New Year! This household was alive with festivities, food, and unexpected guests. All in all, it was a good day, the kids were happy, and now that the tree is down and the house cleaned, I'm okie dokie, too.

This year, we had a few electronics thrown in the gift pile. We got the boys some inexpensive starter tablets, got my older son a remote controlled monster truck, and my younger son a Zoomer robot puppy. Here are the reviews on those items.

Review of RCA 7" Android Tablet

Walmart.com

 

Never again will I get an RCA computer-type anything. DVD players, TVs... fine, but when it came to these tablets, we had problems almost from the moment the kids turned them on.

Tablet #1 - My older son had only been playing Angry Birds on it less than two hours when the screen froze on some line-streaked garbled image. We set it aside for a while and when the screen went off, I plugged it into the charger. There had been no indication that the battery had been running low but according to the indicator, it was completely drained. It took almost the entire rest of the day to get it to charge. He played it less than two hours again and suddenly the battery was drained again. We did that dance for two days thinking maybe it was a fluke. Eventually, I got tired of dancing and gave up on it.

Tablet #2 - This one performed much better than the first one, at least at first. My younger son was able to play it normally for a day and a half. We plugged it up to charge it and when it was indicating fully charged, we took it to the store with us so he could play it while we shopped. Then it just refused to come on. It had not been dropped or flung around or handled in any manner that would cause such a thing. I plugged it up again later and it still refused to come on or even indicate that it was plugged in.

Review of 4x4 Mega Blast New Bright RC

Walmart.com

Our past experience with New Bright RC toys has been okay. We typically haven't bought anything expensive for fear that the kids would tear it up and so far New Bright toys have been okay for the money spent.

But Santa felt that my eldest child was old enough this year for something... uh, bigger? (Mr. Claus's idea, not Mrs. Claus's.) And this thing was big and NOT cheap. To have some kind of reference, my six-year-old child was able to climb into the box and shut it when the truck was removed from it. In any case, it looked pretty awesome and my almost eight-year-old was very excited about it. However, he never got to play with it. When we placed the battery in the charger and plugged it up, the status light never came on and within seconds, an electrical burning smell filled the air. We tried it on three different outlets with the same results each time.

And now for their customer service: I tried multiple times since Christmas to call. I either got a busy signal or a "we're closed" message during the open hours stated in their booklet. (And yes, I accounted for the time difference.) So, without any other option, I sent an email to their customer service, which I have yet to hear from and I sent that message several days ago. I checked their Facebook page for any other reports of problems and I ran into a post about another RC toy problem, which I responded with mine. Yesterday, the admin to the page posted, telling the other guy to email them.

Granted, I have since been able to take the truck back to Walmart but New Bright customer service doesn't know that, and yet *I still haven't gotten a reply to my email. Upon getting my son another RC toy, I was certain to avoid New Bright toy products for this reason.

*If New Bright ever responds to my email, I will update this. If not, you'll see no update here. (Update 1-3-14: Several days after sending an email to customer service, I finally got a reply. Not happy with the time it took to get back to me considering I couldn't reach them on the phone. The time delay could mean the difference between a warranty being honored and being rejected. I will be keeping this in mind when I consider future purchases.)

Review of Zoomer, the robot dog

Zoomer has been a good toy thus far. It works like it should, though the kids do get frustrated with it because it doesn't automatically follow the commands they speak. It's very excitable, too, and mimics the movements of a real puppy, even to the point of sticking its butt in the air and twerking. The kids are happy with it but it doesn't keep their attention for too long and the cat wants to attack it. Still, though, it has fared much better than some of the other electronics this Christmas and overall, we're happy with it.

Thanks to Walmart

Lucky for us, Walmart refunded us for our defective products, which is something I wasn't aware they would do until after I'd been trying to call the manufacturers. It could have been a lot more hassle, especially with the tablets, but they were great about it and I thank them.

This has been the worst Christmas for defunct products. I think I want to have an anit-electronic Christmas next year.

Peace, love, and season's greetings,

Pamela

Fan Page Facebook Cover

This is a Facebook cover I made for my fan page. I liked it so much, I'm posting it here on my blog, too. Not that I expect anyone to use it, but I wanted to show it off. :)

 

If you'd like me to make you a custom Facebook cover with your book covers, it is only $5, maximum of 10 book images. Email me at pamelacgifford@aol.com.

 



Show love

As everyone gets angry and judgmental over the Phil Robertson thing, I have one thing to say...

That is all. Have a great day.

Peace, love, and calm,

Pamela

Your child and internet pictures.

Yesterday was a fun day! Despite the threat of impending storms, we geared up and set off on our
trick-or-treat run. The kids got to meet Iron Man at the Fort Payne Police Department (above - which was the highlight of their trip) and Fyffe once again put on a good event at the park. Though some people didn't make the connection between my costume and my little Batman and Robin, I was still pretty happy with it.


Why so serious?

The evening led to an interesting discussion on my Facebook page about letting strangers take pictures of kids to post on social media. There was a lady where we were dining asking to take a pic of my kids to post on Facebook. I refused and though I could be wrong, she seemed a little offended about it.

Now, I might consider allowing this if it is for a business or organization and I knew exactly what they would do with the picture but it isn't my policy to just allow anyone, even family, to take pics of my children to post online. I can never be certain who really understands and utilizes privacy settings in the right way. Occasionally, I will post publicly set pictures of my children but that practice for me is limited. I decide who, when, where, and how my kids are portrayed. I chose to include the picture above because it illustrates our fun night. The internet, just like the real world, can be dangerous. There is another reason, too. When my kids are grown, what effect will ceaselessly posting public pictures of them do? I can't answer that and neither can any parent given that we don't have insight into their future lives and careers. I admit I cringe a bit when I see my friends post public pictures of babies and children over and over. I'm not judging; do what you feel is okay, but I always wonder if the user behind the posting understands privacy settings; if they really mean to post so many pictures for the entire world.

Back to the lady in the restaurant: I suspect she was an employee but she didn't identify herself, and given the circumstances, it was doubtful that she managed the restaurant's Facebook page. That is the first rule of social media management, which I have experience in. You don't take and post pictures without stating who you are, who you represent, and what you plan on doing with the picture. It's okay to ask, and encouraged. It would be rude to just starting snapping pics. And a little weird.

And if you're just a person asking to take pics of random children, that comes off creepy.

It is our job to ensure that our actions don't place our children in danger. So here's a screenshot to illustrate how to change those settings on your photos.

You can enlarge the photo by clicking on it. Notice in the top right there is a little world icon next to my name. Click the one on your photo and you can change that from public to friends only, or whatever you want.

Note: I didn't blur names or anything from the screenshot because this post on my Facebook is public which also means that anyone who comments on it also shares that comment publicly. Anytime you comment on a public post, ANY public post, personal wall, fan page, whatever it is (settings for that post will be denoted by the icon that displays next to the user's name), you are commenting for the whole world to see.

I hope I've been of some assistance. Let me know what you think in the comments.

Peace, love, and parenting,

Pamela