Your child and internet pictures.

Yesterday was a fun day! Despite the threat of impending storms, we geared up and set off on our
trick-or-treat run. The kids got to meet Iron Man at the Fort Payne Police Department (above - which was the highlight of their trip) and Fyffe once again put on a good event at the park. Though some people didn't make the connection between my costume and my little Batman and Robin, I was still pretty happy with it.


Why so serious?

The evening led to an interesting discussion on my Facebook page about letting strangers take pictures of kids to post on social media. There was a lady where we were dining asking to take a pic of my kids to post on Facebook. I refused and though I could be wrong, she seemed a little offended about it.

Now, I might consider allowing this if it is for a business or organization and I knew exactly what they would do with the picture but it isn't my policy to just allow anyone, even family, to take pics of my children to post online. I can never be certain who really understands and utilizes privacy settings in the right way. Occasionally, I will post publicly set pictures of my children but that practice for me is limited. I decide who, when, where, and how my kids are portrayed. I chose to include the picture above because it illustrates our fun night. The internet, just like the real world, can be dangerous. There is another reason, too. When my kids are grown, what effect will ceaselessly posting public pictures of them do? I can't answer that and neither can any parent given that we don't have insight into their future lives and careers. I admit I cringe a bit when I see my friends post public pictures of babies and children over and over. I'm not judging; do what you feel is okay, but I always wonder if the user behind the posting understands privacy settings; if they really mean to post so many pictures for the entire world.

Back to the lady in the restaurant: I suspect she was an employee but she didn't identify herself, and given the circumstances, it was doubtful that she managed the restaurant's Facebook page. That is the first rule of social media management, which I have experience in. You don't take and post pictures without stating who you are, who you represent, and what you plan on doing with the picture. It's okay to ask, and encouraged. It would be rude to just starting snapping pics. And a little weird.

And if you're just a person asking to take pics of random children, that comes off creepy.

It is our job to ensure that our actions don't place our children in danger. So here's a screenshot to illustrate how to change those settings on your photos.

You can enlarge the photo by clicking on it. Notice in the top right there is a little world icon next to my name. Click the one on your photo and you can change that from public to friends only, or whatever you want.

Note: I didn't blur names or anything from the screenshot because this post on my Facebook is public which also means that anyone who comments on it also shares that comment publicly. Anytime you comment on a public post, ANY public post, personal wall, fan page, whatever it is (settings for that post will be denoted by the icon that displays next to the user's name), you are commenting for the whole world to see.

I hope I've been of some assistance. Let me know what you think in the comments.

Peace, love, and parenting,

Pamela

"The Paranoid's Guide to Using the Internet" by Pamela Gifford - Excerpt

Available in ebook (Smashwords, Barnes and Noble, Amazon) and print. Check for it on your favorite site!

From Chapter 3 of The Paranoid's Guide to Using the Internet

How social networks stay free

Social networks are not out to steal your information to sell to the highest bidder. There have been privacy issues on some social networks, yes, but for the most part, they aren’t as sinister as the media makes them out to be.

The majority of their money comes from ad revenue. They take keywords from your interests and what you post and they show you ads they think you might like. But that’s the simplest thing to explain.

While many social networks do allow third party sites and companies to partner with them (which means the third party can view your information) for a fee, they only do so when the user (you) allows them to. Of course there’s more techno babble where that came from but that’s just a basic sense of what can happen when you’re part of a social network.

For example, chances are, you might have heard someone who has used a social network freaking out about another site displaying their pictures and their information, open to all the world. Most of the time, when something like that happens, it’s not the social network’s fault. It’s the user who hasn’t utilized adequate privacy settings. Which brings me to the next subtopic.

About privacy settings

Every social network has privacy settings. Many range from super cautious to open for all. The problem is that many people aren’t aware of what their default privacy settings are.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found that people I don’t know have everything open for the entire world to see. I’ve even found that kids have no clue that they have their entire profiles visible to everyone. I remember at one point I was curious to see just how many kids on my teen family member’s friend list had their profiles closed. I was astounded at how many teenagers and preteens had their accounts completely open. By simply clicking on their names, I could find pictures of them and their friends, their family’s names, their pets names, their birthday, their favorite foods, where they were going on any given night, and so on. It was terribly frightening that so many children were so openly exposed. Beyond the parenting aspect of it, all of this was because of inadequate use of privacy settings.

How you change privacy settings depends on which social network you are on. It will either be listed as simple as “Settings”. You might also find those options under “Privacy Settings” or “Account Settings”. Then you can easily choose what you want to share with the world or what you want to keep private.

If you’re unsure how to do it, enlist the help of a trusted loved one. With billions of people on social networks around the world, chances are, someone in your family knows exactly how to make your profile as private as you’d like it to be.

Watching what you say

I’m not talking about limiting your opinion in any way. I’m talking about the indulgence of listing every little thing that you do. If you have people on your friends lists that you don’t know all that well, like long lost friends and extended family, be careful about tracking your movements.

For example, if you and your spouse are going to head to the movies, don’t mention it on your updates until after you’ve returned. There have been reports of people who have stated when they weren’t going to be home and then they come back to find they’ve been robbed.

“But you said that it was unlikely someone would rob me from being online!”

I did say that and it is true. I don’t want to add to the fear or be the reason you stay away from the computer but I don’t want to BS you either. Things like that do happen. But if you’ll notice, YOU have the power to prevent such things from happening. Be smart about what you post. You don’t have to give away what you’re doing every second of every day just to be on a social network, even if it seems like that’s what your friends do. Before you post an update, ask yourself if revealing that information would leave you vulnerable. Would it tip off someone to know where you are or if you’re alone?

You’re in control of the social network, not the other way around.

Available in ebook (Smashwords, Barnes and Noble, Amazon) and print. Check for it on your favorite site!